Party
A bunch of pink and orange balloons with smiling faces drawn on them against a pale sky.

Ages three to ten · your house or our hall · two hours

Party

Who turns up

Two people, one box, and a plan for every ten minutes

We are Nadia and Tom. We have done this for nine years, about a hundred and forty parties a year, and between us we have been sicked on, bitten once and locked in a downstairs toilet by a four-year-old who is now doing GCSEs.

Both of us are DBS checked and both certificates are on the wall of the hall and in the email you get when you book. Ask to see them at the door and we will not think it is rude.

What it costs
A smiling woman wearing a crown of red and pink flowers against a yellow background.

Nobody remembers the cake. They remember whether they were picked.

So every game we bring is one where the last child standing is not the point, and every child goes home with the same thing in the same bag.

Coloured confetti and out-of-focus lights against a turquoise background.

Three parties, and that is all there is

Prices are for up to sixteen children. Over sixteen is £3 a head and over twenty-four we will say no, kindly, because two of us cannot see twenty-five children at once and we are not going to pretend otherwise.

A row of cupcakes with pale blue and pink icing and coloured sprinkles.

The small one

Ninety minutes in your front room. Games, a story with the lights off, and we take the rubbish away with us. Three to five year olds.

£140

A baby in white playing a rainbow-coloured wooden xylophone.

The noisy one

Two hours in the hall. Parachute, obstacle course, the mat, and a proper sound system that we keep at a volume grown-ups can talk over.

£215 including the hall

A woman sitting on a sofa with a toddler and a baby, all three looking at a tablet.

The quiet one

Two hours, half the noise, built for one child who finds crowds hard. Fewer children, no whistle, no lights off, and a room next door that stays empty.

£215 including the hall

The two hours, minute by minute

This is the thing parents actually want and nobody puts on a website. It is the same order every time, because the order is what stops it falling apart at the ninety-minute mark.

0:00Arrivals. Music on, nothing organised, coats in one place. Ten minutes of apparent chaos that is doing more than it looks.

0:10Names, and the rule about the fire door. Every child says their own name once, out loud, which is the only bit we insist on.

0:15Running games, loudest first, while everybody still has the energy. Parachute if we are in the hall.

0:45Sitting games. This is where a party normally sags, so it is where we spend the most preparation.

1:05Food, which you provide and we serve. We do not cook and we do not bring cake — you know your own allergies better than we do.

1:30Cake, singing, photographs. Two minutes, and we get out of the way of the person holding the phone.

1:40The lights-off story. Every single time. It is how children who have been shouting for ninety minutes get back down to a level you can take home.

1:55Bags at the door, one each, all identical. Then we clear, and you will not know we were in the room.

The child who will not join in

There is one at about a third of parties. We do not coax, we do not put them on the spot and we never make them the centre of anything. One of us goes and sits near them, does nothing, and they almost always arrive in their own time. If they do not, that is fine too, and we will tell you why we left it alone.

What we need from you

A bin bag, a plug socket, and somewhere to put sixteen coats. Tell us about allergies, hearing aids, a child who does not like the dark, and anything a grandparent should know. Write it in the booking email — we read it out loud to each other in the car.

The hall

Saint Aidan's church hall, hired by us, not by you. Wooden floor, a kitchen with a working urn, two toilets and a car park that holds about nine cars, which is the single most common complaint.

Floor18 by 9 metres, sprung wood

Step-freeyes, side door, ramp

Kitchenurn, fridge, no oven

Parkingnine spaces, street after that

Saturdays free this termfour

Ask which Saturdays
Pink and orange balloons with drawn faces, crowded together against the sky.

Party

Saint Aidan's hall,
Lower Field Road
+44 7700 900 218

When we work

Saturdays 10:00–17:00
Sundays 11:00–16:00
Never on a school morning

On this page

Party is a fictional example. Nadia and Tom, the hall, the prices and the certificates do not exist, and nothing here is childcare, safeguarding or food-allergy guidance. Photographs are stock images and were not taken at these parties.